Who needs to know about the parental alienation checklist?
Divorce proceedings are trying for all parties, and when accusations of parental alienation arise, it only heightens the emotions and stress levels involved.
Here is a parental alienation checklist and tactics for you to learn and avoid. There are also solutions right after for you to overcome the situation of becoming an alienator.
Parental Alienation – What is That?
Parental alienation is when one parent attempts to brainwash or otherwise turn their child against the other parent. The allegation of parent alienation in a divorce case is a serious matter.
Parental alienation goes way beyond interfering with visitation rights and involves manipulating the child to change their attitude about the other parent. Proving the allegations in court can be difficult, as many judges have yet to acknowledge parental alienation as being a real problem.
A Parental Alienation Checklist and Tactics
In the case of Fielding v Fielding, 2013 ONSC 5102, the mother alleged that the father was turning their two children against her. In court, an expert witness presented 17 alienating strategies in this parental alienation checklist below that they said the parent used.
This parental alienation checklist has become standard in the industry and includes:
- Talking behind the back about the other parent
- Limiting the amount of contact an alienated parent has with their child
- Not allowing the parent to speak with the child or making up excuses for why the child can’t have visitation both interfere with communication.
- The custodial parent should not limit how many photographs of the alienated parent are allowed and/or limit how much the alienated parent is brought up in conversation.
- Removing affection or displaying rage at the child
- Child forced to choose between parents
- Saying the other parent does not love the child.
- Giving the impression that the other parent is a threat to the child
- Disclosure of personal adult and litigation details to the child
- Forcing the youngster to reject the alienated parent in some way
- Requesting the child to spy on the estranged parent.
- Telling a youngster to conceal a secret from an alienated parent.
- Requesting that the youngster call the alienated parent by their first name, rather than Mom or Dad
- Asking the youngster to call their new step-parent Mom or Dad and referring to their new spouse as Mom or Dad in front of the child are examples of step-parenting.
- Not permitting the estranged parent to get medical, social, academic, or other information on the child, and removing their name from the records.
- Changing a child’s name to eliminate any association with an alienated parent
- Fostering self-reliance and undercutting the power of the alienated parent
Some courts have adopted a checklist to help identify parental misconduct that could jeopardize a child’s relationship with one parent. This may be evidence of parental alienation, which is taken very seriously by the court.
How Do You Combat and Go Against Parental Alienation?
People disagree about whether parental alienation syndrome is a mental illness, and it honestly varies depending on who you ask. However, it’s crucial to understand that we can all be taught how to think and feel positively or negatively about someone or something.
If you think parental alienation is occurring in your life (you can check again in the 17 parental alienation checklist above), here are some things you can do to try and stop it. This checklist includes:
- Don’t become an alienator yourself. This is the first and uppermost in the parental alienation checklist. When you’re up against parental alienation, one of the most difficult things to remember is that it’s totally natural to feel legitimately threatened and like you need to respond or fight back in some way. Additionally, it can be so tempting to tell your child all about everything terrible their other parent has done – but try not to give into that temptation! If you do, then you’ll just get caught up in a circular pattern of “he said/she said” false allegations with no real solution.
- Express love to your child all the time. Always tell your child you love and care for them whenever you have the chance. Let them know that they’re constantly on your mind, and make sure they feel cherished.
- Always apply positive language. This is an essential item on the checklist that parents often overlook. Instead of saying to your child “I miss you”, tell them that you eagerly await seeing them again. Avoid any negative language, even if it appears subtle. Saying that you miss your child implies regret, which is a negative emotion. By communicating excitement about seeing them again using positive language, they will sense and mirror your enthusiasm.
- NEVER stop trying to make contact with your child. This one needs to be emphasized in the parental alienation checklist If you’re beginning to suspect that your child isn’t receiving your emails, phone messages, or voicemails, don’t give up hope just yet. Although changes may not happen immediately, keep a record of all the times you’ve tried contacting them. Having this record could prove useful for both you and your child down the road if they ever find out what’s been happening.
- Keep yourself under control. Get help managing your emotions, and follow court orders and agreements. Don’t do anything that would make the other parent look like the villain to your children. Remember an alienated parent doesn’t need any true ammunition because they can easily make something up. If this does occur, it is easier to defend against than actual wrongdoing on your part. Although it will be tough, find someone to talk to who can offer support such as a friend or therapist–this will prevent you from becoming too overwhelmed.
- Don’t blame the child. It’s crucial to see, in this parental alienation checklist, that your kid is a casualty in the circumstance. This may be hard because the parent who’s doing the alienation quite possibly has instructed your child to watch you, columns you, and give feedback on everything you said or did, who were present during conversations, etc. Remember that this isn’t your child’s mistake and it’s pivotal not to hold them culpable or become frustrated with them; such responses would only satisfy what the grandparents are telling your kid.
- Be yourself. You are more than enough– never try to overcompensate. Continue being yourself and by doing so, you’ll expose the truth about who the parent trying to alienate you is. They’re likely not as great as they make themselves seem. Be a kind and loving person; actions will always speak louder anyway. This is important to remember in this parental alienation checklist.
- Keep up with the plan. Even if you think the other parent will not let you see your child, do not deviate from any prior plans or arrangements. If you are even one minute late or don’t show up at all, that parent can easily spin it to make it seem like proof to your child that their own father or mother doesn’t care about them.
- Create and enjoy memorable moments with your child. Though it may seem simple, something like talking during a long walk or doing an activity that’s just you and your kid, such as reading a book together or playing catch, can turn into a moment they’ll always remember. It’s not about having fun continuously; it’s about making cherished memories that will stay with your child for their entire life.
- Hire a team of professionals. If you want to give your case its best chance, consider building a team of professionals who can help. This might include hiring a therapist and an experienced family law attorney, as well as gathering scholarly studies and articles on parental alienation. Remember that anyone you hire should have experience with this issue so they can be effective in court.
What causes alienation between parents?
Parental alienation checklist or tactics occur when a child rejects a parent due to manipulation, such as when the other parent conveys exaggerated or false information. The circumstance most frequently occurs during a divorce or custody dispute, but it can also occur in families that are still together.
How does a mother who is the narcissistic act?
A narcissistic mother may feel entitled or self-important, seek praise from others, think she is superior to others, lack empathy, exploit her children, disparage others, have heightened sensitivity to criticism, and, worst of all, may be unaware of the harm she is inflicting.
What are judges’ attitudes toward parental alienation?
The reasons behind a child’s unfavorable actions toward a parent are particularly important to the court in cases involving parental alienation. The actions may be motivated by past experiences, or they may be irrational and imprinted by the alienator. The cited evidence becomes relevant in this situation.
Does alienation from parents ever end?
Sadly, parental alienation often cannot be undone. Early detection and controlling the conduct of the alienating parents are essential to a successful treatment of the illness. If you notice any indications of parental alienation, contact your divorce attorney and a seasoned psychologist right away.
In conclusion, parental alienation of a child in any manner will undoubtedly affect the youngster for the rest of his or her life. Your youngster is involved in a scenario with potentially long-lasting consequences. Your youngster may require prolonged therapy to overcome the brainwashing to which he or she has been subjected.
As a result of the emotional scars caused by the parental alienation checklist, many children withdraw, develop low self-esteem, and/or turn to drugs and/or alcohol. It is essential to constantly be present for your child and provide them with any assistance you can.
The preceding checklist is intended to assist you in handling this critical and high-drama circumstance. Parental alienation occurs when one parent maliciously attempts to turn a child against the other parent. It is true. It is true. Parental alienation is not merely a strategy to obtain the upper hand in an acrimonious custody dispute; it affects your child in ways that may not apparent for years. Thank you for reading 17 parental alienation checklist at our website.