Well, what to do about false allegations of parental alienation? Parental alienation happens when one parent turns his or her child against the other. This tactic can be considered in court when determining custody arrangements and divorce terms, negatively impacting the alienating parent. In many cases, allegations of parental alienation make the difference between receiving custody rights to your child or losing them altogether.
But what happens if your ex falsely accuses you of parental alienation? Unfortunately, false allegations of parental alienation (FAPAs) are more common than you might think. By understanding the nuances of these allegations and knowing what you can do to combat them, you can keep your children safe and fight for your rights.
False Allegations of Parental Alienation – What is That?
False allegations of parental alienation come in all shapes and sizes. Your ex might make up stories about you, provide false proof to the court, or place your child in the middle of the conflict to “prove” the parental alienation.
Deceivingly portraying parental alienation is a sinister tactic to manipulate the court system into believing you are manipulating your children against their other parent. If successful, this can taint how judges view your capacity for parenting and consequently impact whether or not you retain custody of them.
Crafting a FAPA is frequently done with the intention of garnering public sympathy, and those in support will use powerful tactics such as tears, rage or disappointment to convince others to side with them. If you question their conduct they often react defensively or become falsely victimized – so be mindful when interacting with these individuals.
Some tactics your ex might use to convince others of their false parental alienation claim include:
- Testifying that you are turning the children against them or encouraging the children to fear them
- Bringing in therapists or other witnesses who are on their side (and who may not see the full picture)
- Telling others that you and your new significant other are forcing the children to call you “mom and dad,” etc. and purposely leaving your ex out
- Alleging that you and/or your new significant other are psychologically damaging the children by making up lies about your ex
- Submitting that you are lying to the children about your ex’s abuse, alcohol or drug use, economic withdrawal, psychological or physical brutality, and/or other damaging information
While false allegations of parental alienation can be relatively harmless if confined within your immediate and extended family, issues can arise if your ex tells a wider audience. They could go to their lawyers, health professionals, and other “witnesses” to start arming themselves to make their FAPAs in court.
Why Your Ex Is Falsely Accusing You of Parental Alienation
People often question if false accusations of parental alienation (FAPAs) are always intentional from the ex. The answer is no – not all FAPAs come from malicious intentions. Nonetheless, any debunked claims of this kind still constitute as a FAPA – with or without purposeful malice.
If your former partner suspects you are alienating them from the children, it could be that they have their heart set on protecting the kids from what they feel is wrong. Though these accusations of parental alienation may seem realistic to them, they might not realize how false those claims actually are.
It’s then up to you and your attorney to prove that such allegations do not hold any truth whatsoever. If proven right in court, there may even be repercussions against your ex’s parenting capabilities depending on the situation at hand.
If your ex is positioning themselves against you, utilizing false accusations of parental alienation in order to sever your parenting rights, this could be a mistake on their part. In many cases, someone who makes these spurious claims usually desires one or more of the following:
- Harm your relationship with your children
- Alter your access to your children
- Get an advantage in court
- Obtain support from others
- Cover up his or her own misconduct
- Get more control over the custody situation
- Take other advantages
To protect yourself from those who maliciously fabricate tales of parental alienation, it is important to consult with your attorney and find out what strategies you can use in court. If these lies are exposed as false, the repercussions could be severe—ranging from legal action to entire revocation of custody rights.
If you need to know the information of how to prove parental alienation, let’s check this article in HERE.
How to Prove False Allegations of Parental Alienation in Court?
If your ex persists in making false allegations until the court hearing, it is vital to be prepared with the appropriate proof and legal representation for your case. Follow these steps below as you get ready for when you face a judge:
- Be proactive, not defensive. If you know your ex is going to try and accuse you of parental alienation in court, don’t get defensive. Don’t continually try to reach out to your ex and provoke them into fights. Instead, focus on proving yourself to be the good parent you know you are. Take care of your children, stay involved with their school and other activities, and focus only on them when you’re spending time with them. Also try to keep your ex as involved and informed as possible about their children’s lives, if applicable.
- Gather evidence of your behavior toward your ex. Save everything when it comes to your ex. If you send them an email updating them on your children’s school projects or make plans to meet up with them to discuss visitation schedules, keep these on record. Also save text messages, voicemails, and other correspondence with your ex to prove that you are making a concerted effort to involve them in their children’s lives – rather than alienating them as they claim.
- Gather evidence of your ex’s allegations. If you can, save any social media posts, photographs, text messages, voicemails, and any other evidence that can prove your ex is lying about parental alienation. For example, if your ex openly admits on social media that they are having a great time with their children one weekend, this can contribute to your case. Any sort of threatening posts, texts, or emails should also be saved.
- Leave your kids out of it. If your ex is falsely alleging parental alienation, it’s easy for your children to get confused or brought into the middle of the conflict. Always work in your children’s best interest, and never vent your frustrations to them. This is between you and your ex; don’t make your children casualties in your custody battle.
- Talk to your lawyer. A child custody lawyer can help you greatly if you are going to court and fighting false allegations of parental alienation. Ask them about strategies you can use to combat the allegations and any counsel they may have.
When you are in court, remember that truth is the strongest weapon at your disposal. It is never wise to deceive or lie about your ex-partner; instead, base your case on facts rather than words. If it is not safe for you to be involved in or provide information regarding their activities related to children due to safety concerns then do not take such risks.
If your ex is a danger to your children, that will factor much more heavily into the court’s decision than their baseless allegations about parental alienation.
And if you want to know about parental alienation against a mother, explore what exactly parental alienation against mother involves and how best to tackle such situations if they arise.
If you are wrongfully accused of parental alienation, what should you do?
If you are charged with parental alienation, take the time to converse with the other parent about their particular observations that lead them to believe your behavior is alienating. Then, question yourself if any of your remarks or actions have portrayed that you disapprove of the other parent. By doing this introspection and open dialogue, it will put both sides in a much fairer position than before.
Is it ever possible to stop alienating parents?
Despite warnings from judges and mental health specialists, they are unable to stop their alienation. The prognosis for profoundly alienated parents is bleak. It is improbable that they will “get it.” It’s also improbable that they’ll ever stop attempting to keep the alienation going.
Are judges aware of the characteristics and behaviors associated with narcissism?
In the face of facts, someone’s true character can be revealed. A judge has a front-row seat to witness firsthand how narcissistic parents act in an aggressive, oppressive and domineering way.
Can judges see through lies?
Initially, with strategic cross-examination techniques, most judges are able to detect when a person is being untruthful since they tend to create stories without fully thinking them through. Consequently, from my own experience as an attorney it is often simple to discredit a person’s story by pointing out inaccuracies.
While you’re fighting false allegations of parental alienation coming from your ex, never lose sight of the most important thing you’re fighting for: your children. Try to keep an eye on your children to make sure they don’t get confused or hurt in the process. If they show any behavioral symptoms such as acting out, guilt or regret, or elevated aggression, try to talk to them or get professional help. Your family shouldn’t have to suffer for your ex’s actions.
If your ex is spreading false allegations of parental alienation about you, don’t panic and stay proactive. With the right help and commitment to proving your innocence, you can combat these allegations and keep your relationship with your children intact.